cuda: Don't crash when querying memory on device with no free memory. (#25157)

If a Cuda device has no or limited available memory, the actual call to cudaMemGetInfo() itself can cause a fatal crash due to a cuda out of memory error (there is not enough memory to actually query memory)

This causes an issue because we query memory for all devices at startup even if the user isn't trying to use the device for inference.

Fix this by making the error non-fatal and assigning zero total/free memory to the device. This will have the downstream effect of the fit algorithm not trying to put any layers on it, which is desired outcome vs hard crashing.

this also prevents crashes in cuda enabled builds when user explicitly passes '-dev none'